Comments on: Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat…

By: Killstring

Killstring — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:57:11 +0000

Having played almost exclusively in mixed-gender groups, I’ve seen two sides of this coin.

Side A is chill, and handled in a general ‘this is understood to be happening’ style.

Side B is much more intense, and usually descends into real-world drama.

Nothing worse than an angry boyfriend wanting to know why his lady’s professing real world interest in you… so yeah.

It *can* be an engaging and cool dynamic, so long as it’s handled with tact. Think of captain Kirk - how much alien booty was he tapping? We don’t need to ’see’ it to know and understand what happened - having a scene where the character’s putting their boots back on as the rogue fixes her hair provides all the requisite flavor without degrading into anything awkward or disturbing.

My rule is always: when in doubt, Fade To Black.

By: ChattyDM

ChattyDM — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 00:43:49 +0000

LOL! Great story!

Indeed such a DM would fire the severely repressed romantic gene of a group of 40+ guys…

By: Adam

Adam — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 23:19:20 +0000

Having had a rather openminded group of players and various GM’s we have had some rather intresting situations coming up. (I might mention that we are running a non d20 system where aging tends to be a major killer). We have run several generation spanning campaigns and as such romance and indeed even breeding seems to take a bit more of a frontseet. (One of our characters, a mage, decided that it was his holy duty to spread the gift of magic to as many children as possible, going so far as to invest time, experience and work into creating spells for easing childbirth and special care for pregnant females. The magus in question was later slain by a mob of angry husbands when he returned to his home-town after two years absence and several of the husbands had come home in the meantime to find dark-curled, blue eyed children with a axe-like nose. )

Other memorable situations has been a lesbian barbarian in a campaign and her quest to gain the affections and love of her chosen (and quit homophobic) companion.

And while it DOES take some work, it is fully possible to get 40+ males to play convincing romance. *grins* Usually it only takes a 30+ beautiful female as a GM.

By: Sandrinnad

Sandrinnad — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 18:18:55 +0000

‘I so don’t miss my teenage years.’

oh no kidding, eh? I’m actually glad I had a gaming hiatus during most of them

By: ChattyDM

ChattyDM — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:15:20 +0000

That’s quite all right… actually I could totally picture a group of teenagers where one had a crush on another…

Char #1 makes overture, player #2 rejects forcefully (finally seeing where Player #1 was driving at)…

Player #1’s heart breaks…

I so don’t miss my teenage years. Theses things are never easy… even if I was a popular geek!

By: Sandrinnad

Sandrinnad — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:10:42 +0000

you’re welcome and thanks!

heh - sorry I failed my save vs. cheesy ending though

By: ChattyDM

ChattyDM — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 11:26:34 +0000

Wow, this has truly been a truly fascinating set of comments.

While we all seem to share the crude joke stage (even in mixed groups I see, thanks for the insights Sandrinnad)…

Some people have played relationship, included sex, for story-driven purposes.

Oh and Scott, you’re the 1st person I heard that played with his parents… and I would have ‘died’ had it been like that….my father humored me once when I was 10 and we were playing one on one.

Chatty makes a note to tackle a transgenerational post soon

Great comments, and a warm welcome to 1st time (or long time no see) commenters.

By: Sandrinnad

Sandrinnad — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 08:02:27 +0000

Speaking personally I find I need to be very comfortable in the gaming group - basically to be gaming with friends and with another female in the group - before I’m actually comfortable broaching character sexuality. Even when I did it was more suggested than anything - my character was very….friendly let’s just say….and it was mostly handled with an aside and potentially a die roll. There were a couple of scenes that were handled more in depth - one with the DM’s character (which did actually advance the story!) and one that was just so OTT it had to be done (another PC, main baths of the city where all the hotties hang out, about 6 hours in-game time….you get the idea) - but both were still pretty PG in general, and didn’t take up too much actual time. Which is about the level I’m comfortable with and didn’t seem to make the other players uncomfortable either.

I can’t really comment on an all-male group, but I have noticed that when it’s a mostly-male group sex-related jokes in particular seem to be just part of the atmosphere. Maybe it’s a bonding thing? We had a few times where we were introducing someone new into the group and as everyone became more comfortable together over the sessions there were more joke, innuendo, and general ‘off to find a whore in town’ moments. Only from the guys though - they were never well-received from me (silence at the table, no one’s eyes meet, wandering monster comes along to save the situation)

In most of the more evenly mixed groups (about half the players female) there was certainly our fair share of cheap adolescent crude jokes and innuendo - but in all cases where we had that we were all friends before we started gaming together. All the women I know need to feel comfortable with the people around them before the crude stuff starts….

I fear this is a little rambly….basically I suspect it comes down to: it depends on your group. If people (players and DM) feel comfortable enough with each other to develop their characters in that direction it may happen. It may take quite a while though to develop that kind of trust - a few games together, a bunch of crude jokes, and a whole lot of riding the town bicycle - or it just may never gel for the group. After all, even in a game love is a scary thing and rejection can hurt

By: ScottM

ScottM — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 22:59:01 +0000

Do you want to hear awkward?

My Dad was playing a late teen Cultist of Ecstasy in my Mage: The Ascension game. A real club goer, with some shape-shifting and kink… (shudder).

Actually, it was pretty endurable, but I did fade to black early in the encounters.

By: MikeLemmer

MikeLemmer — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 21:58:37 +0000

It’s much easier to pull off online, when you can say the innuendo straight-faced for laughs without feeling awkward. However, we still fade to black just before things physical; as a wise man once said, “It’s what happens before & after that’s important.”

Romances are a good way to establish connections, change a PC’s personality, or let them change an NPC’s attitude. And, given that love is blind, RP romances can lead to all sorts of interesting pairings. (”Yeah, that kobold & minotaur were made for each other. Don’t ask me how they do it, though.”)

And when I say romance, I do not mean one-night stands. One-night stands are inferior in every way, including sex jokes; they’re much more funnier when you interrupt an Important NPC doing it, rather than some Nameless Tavern Wench.