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ChattyDM
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« on: May 06, 2008, 08:58:10 PM » |
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ChildOGaia
• Offspring of other realm god, creates Stepford to conquer all.
• Mutated Undead Orcs festooned with spikes, use tentacles to seduce.
• Halfling Pie Eating Champion has challenged you! Eat or Die!
• You can’t see. You can’t move. It… is behind you.
• Goblin Hordes caravan west. What’re they running from, or to?
• The Horns of War! A cry is heard, “To Arms!”
• Find the forlorn friar of Festivus, or forfeit your face.
• New virus targets bionics. Street Samurai everywhere, go line dancing.
• The Great Old Ones suddenly take an interest in you.
• Cabalists need sacrific to summon Cthulhu. Guess who they want.
• It’s a beautiful day. All is serene. Let’s break stuff!
• Jester insults Great Old Ones before the court. They’re doomed.
• Pretty, pagan Princess passively pilfers priest’s prophetic pockets - Parish Panics!
• From the front… doing it… Rogues are. Backwards Day, hmm
• Modern day teenagers brought to mythic Ireland for God’s Game.
• From the front… doing it… Rogues are. Backwards Day, hmm?
jason
• Infant drow on doorstep. Adopt it or give it up?
• The Tarrasque is sent to Asmodeus’ Lair. Asmodeus’ new pet?
• Pirates and ninjas. Pirates and ninjas. Pirates and ninjas. Ho!
• An island rises from the sea. Rival nations claim it.
• Wizards get into Polymorph any Object duel! Details at 11th!
• Necromancer steals the king’s Crown Jewels. No, the other ones.
• El Pollo Diablo is coming soon. Need I say more?
greywulf
• Kill goblins kill goblins kill goblins kill goblins kill goblins!
• Find the three golden thrushes whose song will heal king.
• Players will die unless find cure hidden on level ten.
• Wizards lost plot. Can you save them from financial ruin?
Ripper X
• Ghost of enemy killed haunts a PCs weapon, murders NPCs.
Darin
• Sorry for your loss. The Princess is in another castle.
• The dragon came to eat you. You aren’t that tasty.
• Five caves have opened up. You get to pick one.
• The summer sun is falling upon the fair realm. Literally.
• You wake up with a written note and no kidneys.
• Somebody tole your favorite pink teddy. Which kind? Gender specific.
jeffx
• Military captain becomes undead minion to increase a deity’s influence.
• Local halfling brewery gets poisoned water. Town and trade sick.
• Assassin turns over new leaf. Opens bar. Town not happy.
• Dungeon found with lots of treasure. Everyone wants a piece.
• Crazy man attempts to create half breeds. Nature not like.
• Old technology needed for viewing secret data. Go find it.
• Identification Database gets virus. Screws your identity. Clean it up?
• Mailed movie rental service used by terrorists to send data.
• You are computer felon. Uncover plot. Need to convince authorities.
• You are hired to rig election. Candidate kills your mom.
• You fathered illegitimate son. Need aire to throne. It’s him?
• Cult camped outside city. Will commit mass suicide very soon.
• Grab cursed gem. Town to perish. It’s all your fault.
Bobert Mk 2
• Airship fleet approaches your home town, can you defend it?
• Mutant pheasants claim your child, an adventure in the wild.
• Unnatural wind claims a local kingdom, has nature turned evil?
• Technocrats’ son lost in latest project, a portal to beyond.
• The world is flooded and angle’s rule with magical fists.
• Five spells must be read to birth a new world.
• Never ending winter caused by warforged wizards and lich queen.
• Blue bolts rain from the sky, the god’s are angry.
• Pun-pun makes an entrance, sanity is all but lost.
• Nation of ghosts rise from the sea, they demand rights.
• Warehouse of berserk animated objects, no more need be said.
Buzzregog
• Demon summoned in bar offers last man standing one wish.
• Elected ruler revealed as idiot, country seeks quick resolution please!
clem
• Benevolent active gods, evil empires, the heroes are pirate clerics.
• Searching untamed jungles on other planets for new alchemical components.
• Earth Mother is insane. Cure her to save the world.
• The President Elect has no children for the ritual sacrifice.
• The mightiest superheroes turn evil. Second stringers must stop them.
• Elderly magical girls must transform once again. Any power left?
• The best magic items are dangerously radioactive. Find a cure.
• Cheerful fairy tale characters are invading your gritty noir world.
• Anvils, dynamite etc. are suddenly fatal. Toons are dying out!
• Rogue censor programs are editing people when they jack in.
Sandrinnad
• St. Nicolas is missing. The Prince requests your help. Now.
• Elvis has returned! The world is covered in sequins. Help!
• Hunted heroes, escaping enemies, stumble into another world and meet.
• Fantasy game. 3 requests from each player. Thinking…. Let’s rock.
• Mad God’s temple: will you find riches or insanity? Mwahahahahaha!
• 40 teenagers camp by a lake. Your mission? Die amusingly.
• Explore covenant, research spells, get powerful, research spells, explore covenant.
• Someone’s stealing from the past - find them and stop them.
• The world is ending. You can make it less horrific.
• Everyone is suspiciously healthy. Is it something in the water?
• Dragon seeks love, requests adventurers carry presents to distant penpal.
• Kublai Khan’s stately pleasure-dome is deserted, loot-worthy, and possibly haunted. (with apologies to Coleridge)
Stan
• Why does the snow over Fairyville smell like rotting flesh?
• Vengeance does not stop with death. Whose sword is this?
• When the monkeys stop falling, the real trouble starts anew.
• Is hope for love worth pursuit for the perfect pancake?
TK Kennedy
• Local church backs PCs in Anti-Paladin’s annual Three-Dragon Ante tournament. (Hyphenated words count as one, right?)
• Stressed out rain god vacations in PC’s recently droughted homeland.
• Archmages create private research demiplane. PCs must evaluate scholarly ethics.
• Why is the King sending sealed letters to 100 peasants?
• Anthropologists study dungeon. Nothing killed or looted until history traced.
Bjorn
• What happens when you crossbreed red and white dragons? Science!
• Annihilation looms. Earth’s last hope lies in the darkest shadows.
• Half-orc wizard, dwarven druid, gnome paladin. Best of friends.
• Supervillain threatens Moon destruction. Do not let UN pay ransom.
• Three signs of the Apocalypse have passed. Stop four more.
Stuart
• Find and destroy the altar before dawn. Reward: Your soul.
• Receive a wedding invitation. Surprise! You’re marrying the Lich Queen.
• Make breakfast fit for the King… with a roc’s egg.
Saragon
• A haughty, tyrannical dragon suddenly requests help defending her desmense.
• Unnatural wildfires burn the fields; who would starve our kingdom?
• Annual festival games turn deadly serious, and everyone seems complicit.
• A royal cook suspected of poisoning an ambassador claims innocence.
• A murdered lord’s spirit refuses resurrection, but haunts his heirs.
• Why would a wealthy, healthy businessman cooperate with foreign terrorists?
• Nothing’s funnier than monkeys - until everyone’s pet simians awaken overnight.
• How does one catch a doppelganger who’s gone to ground?
• Three princes go questing, but one plans to return alone.
• A mad druid holds the floodwaters hostage, threatening mass starvation.
• Several seemingly sincere sirens seek silent solace sans standard seaside solitude.
• Someone cast explosive runes on letters offering cessation of hostilities.
• The city’s power goes out every sundown, without apparent cause.
• Who ever heard of a princess kidnapping a mighty dragon?
max
• PCs windfall actually loot stolen from dragon. Dragon is peeved.
• Half-orc mercenary, Elven princess elope. Earn King’s ransom? Aide newlyweds?
• Who’s teaching the dwarves magic? Wizard college wants competition squelched.
• Swords against Axis: transdimensional adventurers battle Nazis for Europe’s freedom.
• Beardless dwarf merchant losing business; can kidnapped goblin barber help?
• Bardsport: minstrel in musical deathmatch lost voice! Rescue or cure!
• King must wed or war; marriage fulfills doomsday prophecy
• Ghouls Rebel, plan so crazy it just might paralyze everyone!
Arthur
• Overthrow the mad king, but don’t become like him afterwards.
SuperSooga
• Someone burnt down the old forest, the creatures are angry.
• Borstam Keep has dissapeared and huge stone footsteps have appeared.
• Miners have found Hell. The church are pleased, it’s proof!
• The ghost of a foreign spy continues in his duty.
• Incoming meteor. Shelters must be made or underground cities taken.
• Caste of robots are transfering their minds to organic bodies.
• The ooze has taken a dwarf city. Alchemist required urgently.
• Paragon of each of civilised race required for fanastic voyage.
TheMainEvent
• Paragon Ape lobbies for species recognition in a suit. Hilarity ensues.
• Five Elemental Rings awarded by Wizard. You\’re stuck with Heart.
• Warforged created by man. They rebelled. They have a plan.
• Giant Jedi-piloted Mecha wage war against Space Ork Cyborgs.
• Years of achievements threated by deities\’ updating rules of the universe.
• Least-famous Wayons brother trapped in poorly rendered fantasy world.
Geek’s Dream Girl
• Catch & release all harpies after fitting them with bras.
James
• Liberate abused bulettes being used as ogre mage polo mounts.
• Previously plundered artifact conduit for angelic possession of PC’s son.
• Mayan human sacrifice awakens chupakabra horde nesting in limestone sinkhole.
• Run down star salesman huckster who unwittingly acquires legitimate deed.
• Hired by master dream thief to neutralize pursuing bounty hunter.
Patrick
• Food grows scarce in post-apocalyptic wasteland. Who can help?
• The corpse appears to have the same tattoo as you.
• Something made those Imperial Guardsmen turn traitor. What was it?
• Superheroes need anonymity, so make sure he doesn’t escape!
Degreeless
• An intelligent sword demands a destined hero, their damnation ensues.
• Dragon in lonely mountain seeks PC for friendship; maybe more.
David Wright
• Stay in the tavern and adventure will come to you.
• Cathedral walls are bleeding. Clerics are confused. All is lost?
• The Tooth Fairy works alone. The Easter Bunny too. Why?
• Indians on the horizon, watching your wagons circle. Fools gold.
Marcus
• Trapped in another dimension. Escape from Ring of Death possible?
Captain Cursor
• Kobold wizard changes sex of town, forlorn adventurers seek cure.
• Emerald Claw need magical wood, elven forests face the axe.
Barbican
• Steal Wand of Orcus. Survive interplanar chase to Mount Celestia.
Graham
• It is dark. You might be eaten by a grue.
Lanir
• Get kiss from lost faerie queen to save dying boy.
• Evil uncle steals family jewels. Retrieve them to become king.
• Drunken party seduced by transvestite hill giant, escape next morning.
labsenpai
• Trick Norker hillbillies into stealing evil Mage’s laundered Elven finery.
• Save inebriated King from Illusionist Medusa dating his charmed son.
EvilLuke
• Rescue merchant’s son from mercenaries squatting at the family farmstead.
• Get Gods of Cats and Dogs to fight Rat God.
• Fiendwurm belches demons over landscape. Heroes needed for EPIC cleaning.
• Three swordsmen fighting the Isle of Wights REALLY need cleric.
• Psychically poisoned princess purloins the Terrible Tapestry of Trapmaster Tarquin.
Scypher
• Fountain of Youth found! Drinks go to the highest bidder.
• The Plane of Absolute Silence. Or is it just you?
• Dragon seeking estranged child after polyamorous youth… Could be anyone!
• In this foreign land, why does food taste like metal?
• After looting jewels, shady wizard wants them at any cost.
• Did you ever notice the moon is full EVERY night?
• You left fresh half-vampire corpses. Of course rats eat it!
• “I am your creator,” he said, “and you’re a mistake!”
• Newfound constellations form demonic sigils. Coincidence? Or potential Space Satan?
• Princess Harpy picked you as her prom date. Have fun…
onefreeman
• Alien tech powers Nazi warbots in Paris. Find the source.
• Dinosaurs in London. Time rift opened. Close at all costs.
• Nazi supersoldiers, genetically engineered. Find the lab, blow it up.
• What’s causing these sudden mutations? There’s money in rogue magic…
• Demons possess Emperor. Major-domo hires you to exorcise them. (major-domo is one word, right? Or swap for vizier)
• Across the burning sands lie untold riches… and grave dangers.
• Dwarves threaten war over lost coronation gift. A dragon stole it…
• Long-awaited crackdown on crime arrives. Pity you’re a thief
• Enough of these murderous adventurers! We goblins must stand together!
• A room 10 feet square. An orc guards a chest
• The conquest was easy. Cleaning up the mess, mind you…
• Civil war over mistranslated holy scroll. Go find the original.
GAZZA
• Time traveller destroys past. Heroes stop him; things are worse.
• Dying planet holds answer to everything. All life is threatened.
• Dragon and vampire apocalypse. Can heroes use Great Ghost Dance?
• Chaos reigns; broo invasion. Orlanthi cause more harm than good.
• Shadow tendrils threaten Amber; Pattern unstable; Logrus adepts take advantage.
• Elder vampires powers waning: mages suspected, mortal cult leader responsible.
• Drizz’t DoUrden brutally slain; Elminster eviscerated; Simbul disintegrated; adventurers rejoice.
• This is kind of like writing Haiku, is it not? Here’s a bit of shameless plagiarism:
• Danger rears ugly head; Sir Robin turns tail and flees.
• He’s not the Messiah, he’s just a very naughty boy
• Why are we here? Turns out every sperm is sacred.
• Parrot is definitely deceased. And now for something completely different.
Reverend Mike
• The following entries all come from previous gaming experiences. Potato.
• Go to tavern, look at bulletin board, pick a quest.
• Prevent squirrel-induced apocalypse by collecting useless colorful orbs from everywhere.
• Hack, slash, loot, hack, slash, loot; repeat until dungeon ends.
• Kill owner of nearby manor, buy cheap at police auction.
• Noise in dry woods! Throw torch! Face angry homeless druids.
• Defend holy tree against undead legion with only you four.
• Try clearing out Lady Hagerty’s rat-infested basement without dying this time.
• Chick from future tells you, “Don’t fire DM Cannon”. DON”T!
• Buy new bow. Don’t burn the shop down this time.
• Save Krom from execution. He just wanted to eat cabbage.
• Convince paladin he’s not invincible before he gets you killed.
• Exchange dignity for co-adventurer’s resurrection by rolling naked in mud.
• Wipe out peaceful islanders so eccentric employer gets vacation home.
• Repent to island god by massacring several peaceful continent dwellers.
• Find new continent to adventure where everyone doesn’t hate you.
• Aliens invade from hovering castle; cast Fly, hijack that shit!
• Dragons hold capitol hostage; ram them with your new fortress.
• Collect useless items, open Garl Steppeman’s Emporium of Stuff, , PROFIT!!!
• Escape from prison. Don’t use airducts, they’ll see it coming.
• Ally with hobgoblins to defeat tyrant; make them slaves later.
• Rebuild city in a day using Time Stop and slaves.
• Sentient bunny rabbit glues pancakes to your ceiling. Plot revenge.
• Too smart for carrot over pit trap. Try something else.
• Rabbit accidentally poisons self trying to murder you. Make stew?
• Horses have disappeared, replaced by coconuts. Furious paladins blame swallows.
• Elderly historian killed in ride-by slashing, arrest the gallant perpetrator.
• Knights require a shrubbery, a good one. Find it- GAH!
• Tim warns, “Bunny: incredibly dangerous.” Not on stump, disregard him.
• Mysterious last words scrawled on cave wall, “AAAAAARRRRRRGGGHH…”; cryptologists baffled.
• Genius kobold manipulates reality to become God. Fix the loophole.
• Bard only talks in iambic pentameter. Find a cure. Lobotomy?
• Cat decapitates commoner in surprise round. Acquire a competent familiar.
• I’ve degenerated into adapting movies. Still mixed with experiences, though!
• Crazy 88 killers terrorize village. Kill…wait…THERE’S 102! WTF?!
• Modify cybernetic arm to move unnaturally. Thrive as street performer.
• “Supa Dupa Wookiee Crispa” discovered. Are they crispers or crispees?
• Our sun is dying. Ride a bomb into it! YEEEEEEHAWWWWW!
• LG hamlet has little crime, many accidents. Investigate, guns blazing.
• Players get 23 on checks after watching Carrey film. Coincidence?
• Women everywhere, sterile. Well, all except one. Protect the baby!
• One ring must be destroyed. Why walk? Catapult! Mangonel! Trebuchet!
• Bacon?! SWEET!! Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon! It’s BACON!!
• Lead gnome commoner strike force to defeat pig-man overlord, Hogger.
• Terrorists attack National City Guard Convention. Inept remainder needs back-up.
• Ancient catacombs discovered under tavern basement. Adventurers flock; admission charged.
• Weave destroyed. Find Boccob’s Band of Arcanity. Restore multiversal order.
• Newly ascended gods attack Material Plane. Older pantheons mighty pissed.
• Legendary performing troupe has lyric competition. Devise more than rest.
• Schizophrenic psion knows government secrets. Protect her and discover truth.
• Town considers PC hero for unknown reason. Mayor wants revenge.
• Drunk PC gets hitched. Wife has hidden agenda. OH NOES!
• Isolated society considers witchcraft to be technology and vice versa. WTF?
• Elven noble despairs, unable to grow beard. Cure facial baldness.
• Chancellor goes mad. “Universe reduces to singularity. Pi!” Key lime?
• Newspaper mogul dies. Mysterious last words. Find sled before incineration.
• Hunter of dead goes crazy, hunts living with silver hammer.
• Entire campaign is really TV show. Throw dice at DM.
• Unbeknownst to public, superpowered assassins coexist. Investigate their sinister motives.
• Killer tomatoes attack! “Seriously?” “Yep! Stop ‘em.” “Lamest. Adventure. Ever.”
• Worst evils eliminated. Moral standards change. Hunt down serial litterers.
• Port city’s eggs cause explosive diarrhea. Why’re they so GOOOOOOD?
• DM checks carrying capacities. Some loot must be disgarded. Lame.
• New campaign. First adventure - salvage mission: collect disgarded loot pile.
• Warrior-king’s spirit haunts operahouse. “Madness?…THIS!…IS!…OPERA!!!” Exorcise him (Disqualified, Opera House is 2 words).
• Retrieve Armor of Invincibility from the Cave of No Return.
• Nazi supersoldiers are cliché. Werewolf Women of the SS Win!
• Sewers flooded with toxic waste every night. Just in case.
• Creatures escape from zoo! Shouldn’t have taunted the caged dragon.
• Dolphins everywhere have disappeared. Search for them. Bring a towel
JADettman
• Psionic extradimensional spiders attempt to conquer your world. Stop them.
• Angels implore you to free the imprisoned soul of god.
• The unquiet dead rise, hungering for your living flesh. Survive.
BlueHairSar
• A kiwi is thrown into a lake by swiss elephant.
• Four year old girl is kidnapped by a camel driver.
• Oh shit, did you know that Rasputin isn’t dead yet?!
• If that guy doesn’t lose his virginity, all will die.
• People are turning orange. The colour, too, not the fruit!
• Electro-screws in jaw are malfunctioning. Stop me from eating everything!
• Killer giant echidnas are on the loose. Run, fucking run.
• The galaxy implodes if anyone tells another “your mom” joke!
• DM is choking on D20! Why was he eating it?!
Acksiom
• 1/100th size characters battle everyday insects in gladiatorial arena competition.
• Familiar hires party to infiltrate inexplicably sealed wizard master’s tower.
• Demons will invade if innocent child dies before ritual purification.
• Rebellious intelligent construct seeks assistance in achieving freedom and autonomy.
• Monster accidentally drinks love potion; sees character, changes alignment, courts.
• Mr. H. G. Wells is hiring ghostbusters; specialized equipment provided.
• Inheritance letter must be delivered across world in ten days.
• Save framed Prince by finding real St. Paul’s Cathedral murderer.
• GIgantic steam-powered automaton runs amok at World’s Fair; stop it!
• I for one do NOT welcome our new martian overlords!
• Immature narcissists egotistically force ignorant politics into contest; discipline them.
Graeme
• Lich King plans grand party, PCs are the main dish
• Robot wreaks havoc on future city, citizens cry for help
Ariamaki Risenki
• Go to Vegas, find stripper-nee-goddess, wake her up.
• Low-Earth orbit, rocks are falling- fish out useful stuff.
BeastMasterJ
• Sneak into guarded temple, steal magical sword. Catch: It sings.
• Family’s heirloom necklace caught on Infernal Dire Boar’s Tusk. Fetch.
• Return archmage’s Iron Golem. He lives within dense rust monster population.
• Duke’s ‘niece’ is actually succubus. Sabotage wedding between noble families.
• Show up dwarven king on his own turf: DRINKING CONTEST!!
• Raise money to save orphanage from global corporation’s land grab.
• Plant bug on Dictator’s lapel while avoiding his Doppleganger bodygaurds.
• Stop Madman from unleashing Virus. His soldiers are all carriers.
• Evacuate scientist and daughter from mothership. One escape pod left.
• Aprehend father’s killer; who must be executed before your coronation.
• You’re infected with memory poison. Retrieve cure from… uh… hmmm…
• You’ll die within moments. With last breath, warn world about-
• Seek racist dwarf apothocary, convince him to heal elf companion.
• Nine bloody weapons, four impaitent heirs, One vacant throne. Whodunit?
• Powerful Artifact on Angelpearch Summit protected by Solar. Bring rope.
Dante
• Three demon warlords oppose each other, protect your hometown!
• The President ate some magic mushrooms, defend the Middle East!
Tangent128
• Fate of the world decided by ping pong playing orcs.
• Figure skating puzzle seals ice dungeon. Is treasure worth it?
• Twenty one sided die discovered. Can civilization handle newfound power?
• The world is disintegrating. Can it be saved? Probably not.
Asmor
• The orc and the pie. What’s stronger: love or hunger?
Matthew
• The king is dead. Why do we still hear him?
• It was once a church. Now it’s cold and unhallowed.
• The sword you seek is inside a dragon. Good luck!
• I’m not kidding: he ended up inside the troll. Yuck.
• I’ll pay you double if the kobolds eat him afterward.
• Uh, where did the city go? Oh, right: Dis. Whoops.
• I hate orcs. Kill them all. Except the hot one.
• Steel failed. Fire just angered it. You’ll think of something.
• Hey, do you like money? Do you also like murder?
• The graveyard is full of angels and the dead can’t sleep.
• Deliver him here. Ignore his words. He will only lie.
• Jewels sparkle like fire. “Bring its head and they’re yours.”
• Say nothing. This tomb has ears. Hands, too. Also: teeth.
• It started with a gnome and a bucket of ale.
• Surrender now. I won’t harm you. Honest! I never lie.
• We entered the temple. I returned afraid. He returned insane.
• You’re going to kill Bane? Who’s your next of kin?
• The bridge collapsed. The castle burned. The prince smiled quietly.
• What part of “eats people for fun” don’t you understand?
• I’ll give you ten gold if you pull this lever.
• He’s angry and he’s made of lightning. You’re immune, right?
• Doppelgangers abound. You’re safe here, though. Here, eat this, friend!
• We’re surrounded. Let’s worry about that later. The tarrasque awoke.
• I dare you to steal that lich’s phylactery. No? Chicken.
• It’s my sister’s child. My child. Do it now. Please.
• Once, long ago, someone teleported the tarrasque to the Abyss.
• Say, where can I find a book about breeding beholders?
• Bring me my mother’s right hand. She won’t need it.
• Dead men roam the swamp. Therein lies your fallen god.
• It’s sharp enough. But can you really kill your master?
• A ghostly figure. You remember her. She’s here now. Why?
• The eyeless child brings ruin. The stars will depart. Darkness.
• Hone your skills. Losing means they starve us. Beatings, too.
• Mangy. Gnawing teeth. Rats? I guess they look like rats.
• “For sale: two bloodstained daggers. Very sharp. Never used. Cheap.”
Deadshot
• Wars raging, food riots, global warming. Now we launch invasion.
oddysey
• Bear attack! They breathe fire! What makes them so angry?
• Earthquake rocks sleepy coastal town, annoys mayor. Next: sea monsters.
• Bad bite gets infected, arm goes all gooey. Seek help.
• Evil empire tests cyborgs on peasantry. Their one weakness? Drugs!
• The football-sized ruby? Good. The deathtraps? Not so much.
• Goblin civil war. Pick sides, or just protect the townsfolk.
• Strange disease turns flesh to gold. Who gets the vaccine?
• Villain kidnaps your best friend. Then she does it again.
• Nobles getting married. Crash it, kidnap the bride and groom.
• Clockwork gorilla has a map in heart, murder on mind.
• You are unwashed Scots. Hide, then restore the deposed king.
• Chaos magic messes with city finances. “Solution” summons tentacle horror.
• History class interrupted by dinosaurs. Is it on the final?
• Dinosaur Escape: Washington DC. All agree, the best filibuster ever.
• Wizard builds a better fireball. Guild says: Take him out.
• Escape from Dr. Zod’s twisted lair. Main complication: robot mongeese.
• Jewels of Tanar’zhu are missing! Vizier did it, hates apostrophes.
• Warlord seems okay guy, keeps ordering you to slaughter peasants.
• Godzilla attacks New York. Again. Bored, no good movies playing.
Sham
• Giant Legendary Ape terrorizes frightened city, just wants some nookie.
• Bobby the Paladin keeps dreaming of naked Clerics, blames youth.
• Boy sells his cow for beans, has a giant erection.
• Balrogs forge alliance, play benefit concert for convicted Hobbit plagiarizer.
• Wizards Confuse young Halflings into conducting melee with playing cards.
• Adventurers keep vanishing, seems the dreaded “Mmo” is consuming them.
• Umm…Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain?
• Boy saves his city from disaster by fingering a dike.
• Wizards flog a dead horse, convinced it’s full of life.
• Grognard takes up his lance, mistakenly charges Windmills. Then Wife.
Mystrich
• Doppleganger asks evil PCs for new face. Might be misunderstood.
James Hutchings
• Hobgoblin haiku
better than bugbear haiku.
Liar! This mean war!
• Defeat an army of insane, sentient furniture - the random tables.
• The king, driven mad, stops living in a fantasy world.
• Wizards live on the coast. Everyone argues about their alignment.
• Defeat the Frill-Necked Wizards. Escape the kangarorcs. Save the Downunderdark.
• Albino minotaur rules cannibal cult of children in the sewers.
• MohawkShamanVersusGermanAgentMagicalWesternDesertShowdown!
• You are regular solids, thrown around by the uncaring gods.
• It’s locked? He’s dead? A puddle? Elementals, my dear Watson.
• There are two commoners for every noble in Serf City.
• Look, I’m for free speech - but not for Wight supremacists!
• “I love Ugluk!”
• Next, on The Kobold and the Beautiful.
• Up next: 30-ish demons, unfunny and inexplicably popular, on Fiends.
• ‘I’m literally out of my tree’ said the giggling Rasta-fairy-un.
• Monster kidnaps maidens, tells them interminable anecdotes. Slay the Drag-on!
• ‘Me have eaten two of every animal!’ cried Noah’s Orc.
• 1. ‘We will manufacture no more Consent Golems!’ said Gnome Chomsky.
• 2. In the sequel, Chomsky is joined by Gnome E. Klein…
• In the Underbasement the Dork Elves kidnap noobs, for Lolz.
• The Round Knights of the Table: defenders of the Shire.
• Gods creating the universe: “oh sweet! Doubles add and re-roll!”
• They’re called Great Old Ones - but they’re actually pretty lame.
• In the Caverns of Dyslexia, you meet the Dark Elvis.
• Advanced Back Passage Dungeon Crawl: the new edition of FATAL.
• Halfling takes ‘Chaotic Good’ that one step further - Lorena Hobbit.
• A princess cursed with Tourettes. Bold knights, help YOUFUGGINBAAAASTARDS! me.
• Werewolves! No, robots! No, aliens! No, wait…alien robot werewolves!
• A paedophile vampire sires a clan of unaging child concubines.
• An Elf, fulfilling prophecy, gives elf-service to an elf-raising flower.
• The Book of Unerotic Fantasy. Chapter Ten: Teenage Mind Flayers.
• Concealing your pregnancy is very difficult if you’re a flumph.
• This isn’t the gnome’s kingdom - it’s an exact, clockwork replica!
• A ghoul, disgusted by the killing of animals for food.
• The severed head of a great orator, still making speeches.
• Dark portents in the stars, and blood in the sky.
• A shambling horror, falsely accused and without a single defender.
• A dungeon, where the treasure consists entirely of glass eyes.
• The painting of the city is really the city itself.
• A dungeon where every encounter requires the Use Rope skill.
• Emonic posession, alternative rocs, and shog-goths at Lolthapalooza: indie gaming!
• You have the body of a Greek god. Return it.
• Naked nymphs, mocking your impotence: the Book of Nuerotic Fantasy.
• GURPS: Tom of Finland LARP rules alienate some, liberate others.
• Criminals steal time machine! They must have been stopped! Then!
• George decided to demonstrate the difference between Lawful and Good.
• ..in an eternal loop, you escape but find yourself trapped…
• There’s nothing big or clever about playing a retarded dwarf.
• Gullible dwarves lose all their gold to Girenian money scam.
• Dragon picks lock, robs you, asks how you like it.
• Heaven hates you, Hell’s afraid you’ll take over, Mechanus sucks.
• It’s the Plane of Snakes, what did you expect Samuel?
• In the food court, your soup is accused of treason.
• Bloody Health and Safety. It’s *meant* to be a deathtrap.
• Drive rogue supercomputer insane. Ask it about Attacks of Opportunity.
• Ron Jeremy sues Wizards over their new race, the Engorged.
• The Gods announce an upcoming new edition of the universe.
• FATAL Expansion introduces Were-Goatses, Tubgnomes, and Two Gnolls, One Cup.
• Game about magical vampire wars introduces new maturity to role-playing.
• Boom! Smoke! He appears. “Oh…that’s what that spell does.”
• A half-flooded cave, where a cult worships the sea demons.
• An ancient sorcerer-king sleeps, preserved by his dark arts.
• In a hidden cove, pirates have founded a secret city.
• An insane god-king, his home palace, prison and tomb.
• The kind and heroic priest of a vile demon god.
• A city of ruins, filled with angry and vicious spirits.
• A missionary who has secretly converted to his hosts’ religion.
• An army of animates waiting for their dead masters’ return.
• The tattooed skin of a great king, tanned and cured.
• A skeleton race, who grow flesh and muscle after death.
• An underground inn, filled with all tribes of the underworld.
• A mirror whose reflection has a devious plan for escape.
• A ship, equally at home in the sea or clouds.
• A noble’s rickshaw, pulled by a finely-dressed animated skeleton.
• A giant scarab beetle, carapace polished and studded with jewels.
• An abandoned building, secretly used as a site for duels.
• Fauns and dryads, raucously celebrating the death of an enemy.
• A castle, in ruins and overgrown but for one tower.
• The corpse of a prophet, preserved by trick or miracle.
• A clockwork ogre, the crowd’s favourite at the public executions.
• A wagon full of a non-existent denomination of gold coins
• A new playwright has set the stage on fire, literally
Sam Judson
• Nuclear bomb goes off, not if president killed by you
MAK
• Farmer topples standing stones - threshold to another dimension gapes open.
• Frost giant shaman steals Drum of Winter - will spring arrive?
• You wake up chained to galley oar - escape or perish!
• Help Templar ghost guard gate to Hell under Solomon’s Temple
• Nazi occultists revive dead soldiers by truckload for Eastern front
• Cemetery symbols removed - the Dead just want to return home
• Persuade sleeping giant to teach you forgotten Songs of Power
(the Kalevala, rune XVII)
• Brave Wall of Serpents to woo daughter of the North
(the Kalevala, rune XXVI)
• Far Northern winter - sun doesn’t rise, the dead won’t rest
• Sinister creatures offer to repel invaders, but at what cost?
Palindrome, as requested. Not much of an adventure, more like the memory of a failed one…
• Dog mood: sword was evil - live saw drow’s doom god!
gospog
• Old man says he is not a dragon. He is.
• Gnomes want to become werewolves for respect. Capture one alive.
• The robot impersonating the king is doing a better job.
• Anyone who follows the rainbow does not come back. Why?
• Driud stuck in bear form. Heroes need info from him.
Bartoneus
• Lost and within the footprint of a Tarrasque, they awoke.
• “They came from the north, with the gnashing of teeth.”
• A bard, goblin, and a lich walk into a bar.
• Endless rains, flash flooding, sinkholes, and pirates. Aquatic Campaign: GO!
Marcel Beaudoin
• Elemental lords possessing bodies to take over prime material plane.
Tommi
• Terrible fate it is to marry monster - squishy, defenseless human.
• The world will burn - you have three days. Have fun.
• The riddle was spoken: 3, 4, 7, 11. Answer promptly.
• A glorious host of paladins to be buried, for now.
• The summer is coming, the ice melting. Where to live?
• Why was Descartes forgotten? How to defeat the ubiquitous demon?
Zippy
• Tarrasque disturbed prematurely. Evacuation required. Loot as you go. Profit!
• High-level cleric excommunicated. Seeks revenge against her deity and church.
• Noble’s adventurous daughter needs bodyguards. Visiting Carceri can be deadly.
• Elvis reincarnated as two-headed wolf boy. Needs to be housebroken.
boswok
• Procrastinating deity lets opposed servants decide for it. Survivor’s choice.
Chgowiz
• Guards vanish then Merchants then Commoners Leaving Only Council. Why?
• Deep holes appear everywhere. Those who enter vanish. Where?
• The Sun didn’t come up. Stars are gone. The prophecy?
• One murder then a second and third. Blame the children.
• Orcs at the gates begging for succor. Goblins close behind.
• You’re in a maze of twisty passages all look alike.
Bob at DnDReviews
• PC’s benefactor murdered by randomly ravening horde of fomorian foes.
• Disguised antagonist steals all-powerful artifact from under party’s nose.
• Party wakes up in alternate universe, i.e. Drow are good.
• Tarrasque defeated by goblin who wants to be king now.
• Orc has pie. Kill orc. Eat pie. Find another orc.
• PCs must become evil to defeat greater evil. No prizes!
Vyper909
• “Who needs a mage when you already are a God?”
Ostar
• Nordic gods return to lead Nazi’s in WWII - Allies losing.
Mark
• A plague rat infestation is more than anyone bargained for.
• Space aliens invade Middle Earth in a Victorian-looking mothership.
• Astronauts make emergency landing; undiscovered alien natives take violent offense.
• Will players realize the campaign is based on song lyrics?
• King without heir obsessed with relic. Steal and ransom it.
mike
• The empire built on the wasteland festers; underground, something awakens.
• You all meet in a bar. Chaos, hilarity, slaughter ensues.
• The king is dead! One problem: you’re the king.
• Arcane and Divine magics switch, meanwhile Druids make their move.
• Unstoppable juggernaut rolls towards the Eternity Gate. Find the source.
Felonius
• Kick down doors, slay the baddies, steal all the loot
• 1. “Evil I slayed that others could live,” quothe the Paladin.
• 2. Space derilict drifts into sight… valuable salvage, or certain doom?
• 3. Someone let the kender control the time travel device? Oops.
• 4. You gaze upon the face of Cthulhu. Roll for insanity.
• 5. The end is nigh. The giant robots must be stopped.
• White dragon attacks nomandic tribe? Sounds like “Barbarians on Ice”.
Randy Nichols
• Powerful pcs ressurrected to defeat major baddie then killed again
• Pcs escort child-god through Sigil before the Lady discovers
Jozie
• Steal rare Dwarven Ale casks before the Giants drink them.
Greenvesper
• Resurrections cause rupture in boundary between life and death. Repair.
• Gnome must collect all mustard jellies to revive ancient hero. (2nd Edition)
• Elven encampment is actually a colony of albino drow. Surprise!
• Tarrasque spontaneously starts reproducing asexually. World seeks Tarrasque birth control.
• Depressed demigod attempts suicide with disastrous results. Cheer him up.
• Death god is slain and suddenly no one can die.
Ray K
• Betrayed baron returns for vengeance disguised as entertainer, wants help.
• Planted crops stand up, migrate south, children claim stalks talk.
• Goblin tribes unite, form nation under prophet leader, pet basillisk.
• Lesser storm goddess calls in debts, destroys what’s not offered.
• Day of Fools tournament in forest: Go, hunt, play pranks.
niilov
• Disease spreading from unknown source - connected to rise of ritualists?
nw_meyer
• The Sunkiller seeks its divinity through a dead god’s remains.
• Free the Paladin-king, reclaim his soul from the seven crows.
• An elder vampire seeks help destroying spawn, do you dare?
• Restore the Remshibar clans warlocks, imprisoned within the Wraith Blade.
• The Wight Lord has besieged your city-state, resist the undead.
• Cunning were-rats are mining plague-steel, stop them before it spreads.
• The Magister’s College is abandoned, re-take it from the golems.
• Twelve kingdoms sponsor the Great Griffin Race, can you win?
• The last royal heir is found, restore the sundered throne.
• Break the Temporal Lock, or the next sunrise never comes.
shadow145
• “Dark Jedi’s Zombie Stormtroopers take over Endor Battle Droid Factory!”
BobG
Palindromes:
• Lost! I wait… I’m mad dammit! I, a wit, SOL.
• “Evitarr, an evil here?”“Red Rum Murderer!”“eh.” live narrative.
• An era, A dog, a panic in a pagoda arena!
• Pots! No Garden? old evil Deified! lived lone Dragon. stop!
Standard Entries
• Dimensional travel to a popular setting from another game/movie.
• Pandemic! Must find cure, and find new bodies for dead.
• Talking cheetah challenges party to a race: for map home.
• Scavenger Hunt! Find: his head, the weapon and the murderer.
• Kill dragon, get maiden, get paid. Not in that order?
• Anything touched turns gold, for an hour. Midas has debts.
Bo
• Boogeyman kidnaps visiting martian’s baby as ploy to summon satan.
• Child vampire “turns” orphanage into minion army. Plans world acquisition.
• Rediscover zombified planet’s technology for homeworld’s protection from similar fate.
• Ocean is emptying. Must find solution before world dries up.
Melissa Donovan
• Idaho bank teller inherits mysterious samurai swords from unknown ancestor.
Dire Human (New Submitter)
• The captain of the local town guard is an illusion.
Sean Freeman
• An intelligent storm has stolen people’s ability to have faith.
• A castle’s owner dies and possesses it, rampaging across time.
• Assassin children infiltrate society at the behest of the King.
Ben
• Slaver raid, airship chase, cult volcanic sacrifice thwarted, demon unleashed!
• Masquerade party mistaken identity, framed for kidnapping, burning building rescue.
• “Help me Obi-wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope,” said Leia.
• “They’ve stolen my wife! Send your armada; we’ll rescue her!”
• “Only a clever ruse will work after this siege. Listen…”
• You are cordially invited to the Nakatomi Corporation Christmas Party.
• “It’s an obscure body in the S-K system, your Majesty…”
Yan
• Rumours are, that an army is forming. Care to investigate?
• Something is amiss in town. People are disappearing at night.
• Investigators required to thwart the returns of a loftcraftian horror.
• Rise of the archlich in a steampunk meets vampire universe.
• Transporting military secret experiment, can be hazardous to your health.
zozeer
• Players are Time-Lords, fighting the Daleks in the time war.
Cake
• Drow try to take over the world by destroying magic.
Brian
• Woeful wyrms wreak wreckage while wrathful weapon waits weak-willed wielder.
Fayd
• Decendants of an ancient empire return to find world chaos.
• Infiltrate pure evil empire, gods will absolve you of sins.
• For hire, drug addicted assassins trained in heavy crossbow use.
Noumenon
• You’re colorblind to beat hypnotic pattern? Meet this gray dragon.
• Dragons’ hoards empty. To get rich now, quest for endorsements.
Ed
• Good versus Evil, until Lawful Neutral gets sick of it.
Red Nikon
• Assassin’s guild spreads rumor of ancient artifact to attract PCs.
Alex Schröder
• Rescue spy on plane of fire. Maximized enlarged fireball salamanders!!
Murk
• Universe is disintegrating. Elder god responsible. Heroes must escape. Where??
tim
• Rescue President’s daughter from clan of alien-human-hybrid cultists.
• Stop Neo-Nazi’s from rebooting Hitler’s cryogenically preserved brain.
• Pilfer the basement of my Aunt Sadie’s purported haunted house.
• Deliver a satchel of condoms to the Religious Underground Movement.
iconoplast
• Kingpin who framed characters murdered. Who stole his tongue? Why?
• Gorilla legionnaires take gala hostage. Demand polyoscillium returned. Whay’s polyoscillium?
• Why is everything on fire? I hate PCs so much.
• Nazi supersoldiers drag diplomat to sewers of 1960s berlin.
Jerm
• PCs ambushed by Hatfields, earn trust, resolve feud. Or not.
• For sale: baby medusa shoes, never worn. Find rightful owner.
• Find guru: climb, rockslide, yeti’s, chasm, whiteout, receive wisdom, return.
• Mafia birthday party. PC’s entertain kids, repel crashers. Refuse “offer”?
• 1000 gp bounty for each greased dire blink-pig caught.
Margaret
• Pesky pixies pants PCs, powerful pixie princess pleads: “Parlay, perhaps?”
EotBeholder
• Forge alliances, fortify defenses, train dinosaur cavalry – yuan-ti armies march.
• Sleeping god’s nightmares invade waking world. Kill? Imprison? Cure?
• Idiot king’s intelligent sword advisor stolen. Recover, before kingdom crumbles.
• Baal develops eldritch nukes – demons mutate, angels duck and cover.
• A map, an ancient treasure, a flying ship: Sky Pirates!
• PCs, dwarves, goblins – in Carceri, each with 1/4 way out.
• Magical drug grants sorcerous power, communication with dead. Side effects?à
• Flocks of ravens gather to witness birth of half-ogre messiah.
• Crucial artifact prize in gladiatorial arena. PC’s sibling enters match.
• Evade golems, empty vault, out-maneuver pursuing dragons in canyon. Easy!
Streebor
• Plague cult is looking for ancient tome in remote orphanage.
• Find the serial killer of harlots for desperately amorous noble.
• Falsify the magic scrolls by stealing secret gnome printing technology.
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